Good day, my dear friends and followers. Today I am announcing the official launch of the long-awaited Silent Hill 9 Kickstarter! For too long, the Silent Hill series has been sullied by D̡I̧͟ŖT͡͝Ý͢҉ ̢A̡̢͏M̛E͏̧R͘͢I̸͘K҉A̛NS̶͡, who simply do not understand what Silent Hill is truly about. So now, I have decided to take a stand. As a true fan, I shall produce the next installment of the series, staying true to the roots of Silent Hill, while also bringing my own fresh and original ideas that will surely make the series great again.
The plot follows a young man by the name of Jamie, seeking to find his long lost DAUGHTER, who is MAYBE DEAD, but KINDA ALIVE. But where is this someone???? In the dark lands of SILENT HILL, OF COURSE!!!! Along the way, he runs into a crazy cast of characters, including a young lady named Martha, whom he teams up with in order to defeat the monsters that plague the town. But, somethin’ WEIRD is going on, so it’s up to Jamie and the gang to figure out what true secrets lie within this supposed “”“resort”“” “”“town”“”.
Silent Hill 9 will include many riveting features, including:
Highly visual graphics, expertly crafted, rigged, and animated using the highest quality 3d software using pixels and bits and other similarly technical terms.
Many intriguing characters, whom you build connections with in order to increase your stats and abilities!
A deeply intricate and complicated story, brought to life with the help of other professional visionaries such as Harmony Korine and David Cage.
Callbacks to all your favorite past Silent Hill titles, such as Silent Hill: Orphan 2 and the Silent Hill Play Novel
Bees?????????????????
Fully rendered and detailed environments, based on the real life town of Lewiston, Idaho
A complex item crafting system that can lead to hundreds of different results. Use your abundance of resources to create all sorts of gizmos and gadgets!
A shot of Martha’s breasts at least every 10 minutes
47 different endings, all of which are influenced through the subtle decisions and choices you make throughout the game.
Additions of brand new terrifying monsters and baddies, including Snackerbacks, Bubble Bobbles, Tibblers, and the mysterious & intimidating Shufflerman!
Will make the taste of orange juice slightly more appealing
and
MORE!
Silent Hill may have been DISGRACED by being in the wrong hands, but I assure you that I can save this franchise yet. Having visited Tokyo once for 3 days, I know I am fully in tune with Japanese Horror and Team Silent’s original vision. Please consider contributing to this project, and I promise that I will bring quality back into this beloved series.
Thank you, and I soon hope to  begin  the  cleansing

Good day, my dear friends and followers. Today I am announcing the official launch of the long-awaited Silent Hill 9 Kickstarter! For too long, the Silent Hill series has been sullied by D̡I̧͟ŖT͡͝Ý͢҉ ̢A̡̢͏M̛E͏̧R͘͢I̸͘K҉A̛NS̶͡, who simply do not understand what Silent Hill is truly about. So now, I have decided to take a stand. As a true fan, I shall produce the next installment of the series, staying true to the roots of Silent Hill, while also bringing my own fresh and original ideas that will surely make the series great again.

The plot follows a young man by the name of Jamie, seeking to find his long lost DAUGHTER, who is MAYBE DEAD, but KINDA ALIVE. But where is this someone???? In the dark lands of SILENT HILL, OF COURSE!!!! Along the way, he runs into a crazy cast of characters, including a young lady named Martha, whom he teams up with in order to defeat the monsters that plague the town. But, somethin’ WEIRD is going on, so it’s up to Jamie and the gang to figure out what true secrets lie within this supposed “”“resort”“” “”“town”“”.

Silent Hill 9 will include many riveting features, including:

  • Highly visual graphics, expertly crafted, rigged, and animated using the highest quality 3d software using pixels and bits and other similarly technical terms.
  • Many intriguing characters, whom you build connections with in order to increase your stats and abilities!
  • A deeply intricate and complicated story, brought to life with the help of other professional visionaries such as Harmony Korine and David Cage.
  • Callbacks to all your favorite past Silent Hill titles, such as Silent Hill: Orphan 2 and the Silent Hill Play Novel
  • Bees?????????????????
  • Fully rendered and detailed environments, based on the real life town of Lewiston, Idaho
  • A complex item crafting system that can lead to hundreds of different results. Use your abundance of resources to create all sorts of gizmos and gadgets!
  • A shot of Martha’s breasts at least every 10 minutes
  • 47 different endings, all of which are influenced through the subtle decisions and choices you make throughout the game.
  • Additions of brand new terrifying monsters and baddies, including Snackerbacks, Bubble Bobbles, Tibblers, and the mysterious & intimidating Shufflerman!
  • Will make the taste of orange juice slightly more appealing
  • and
  • MORE!

Silent Hill may have been DISGRACED by being in the wrong hands, but I assure you that I can save this franchise yet. Having visited Tokyo once for 3 days, I know I am fully in tune with Japanese Horror and Team Silent’s original vision. Please consider contributing to this project, and I promise that I will bring quality back into this beloved series.

Thank you, and I soon hope to  begin  the  cleansing

I meant to do this for like the last two years and I forgot every single time and this year I finally remembered but now these are all over the place so I probably look like a hack.

OH WELL

(no harry because I didn’t have time/lazy. just remember that harry will forever be in all of our hearts this valentine’s day and beyond.)

I don’t know where I was going with this uhhhh

for the very unfortunate people who may have no idea what this is, please enlighten yourself here.

ALTERNATE JOKE I CAME UP WITH LIKE FIVE MINUTES AFTER I FINISHED THE ABOVE:

image

exclusive sneak peek of silent hill 9
the protagonist is me. pyramid head makes a return and now symbolically represents my unrelenting laziness. critics give it a 12/10.

exclusive sneak peek of silent hill 9

the protagonist is me. pyramid head makes a return and now symbolically represents my unrelenting laziness. critics give it a 12/10.